Fr. Roger J. Landry
Saint Michael’s Church, New York, NY
Funeral Mass for Oritsebemigho “Begho” Olubukola Ukueberuwa
May 13, 2023
Rev 14:13, Ps 27, 1 Tim 6:11-12, Jn 12:23-28
To listen to an audio recording of today’s homily, please click below:
The following text guided the homily:
- Little did Begho Ukueberuwa realize, on Sunday, May 7, at 8 am, as he approached the starting line for the half-marathon on Exchange Terrace in downtown Providence, alongside Burnside Park, that he was about to start one race and finish another. As he began his first half-marathon in Providence, he was about to finish a full one under Providence. Wearing bib number 11581, he jogged alongside the Providence River and Providence Harbor toward scenic India Point Park, continued past the campus of Brown University and the Rhode Island School of Design up the tree-line Blackstone Boulevard as he headed north toward Route 95. Nearing the half-way point, about an hour after he started, he was clocked at a respectable 9:19 per mile, as he turned south along the Seekonk River. He journeyed alongside Swanpoint and Riverside Cemeteries as he made his way toward Blackstone Park hugging the River. He crossed under I-195, passed the Marston Boat House and somewhere around where the Seekonk and Providence Rivers merge to form Providence Harbor leading down toward Newport and out to the Atlantic, he could run no more. Notwithstanding his physical strength and his well-admired perseverance, his kidney, muscles, lungs, heart and other internal organs gave way as a result of heat stroke and the inability of his body to cool down. He was brought to Rhode Island Hospital where the medical staff did all they could; where the hospital chaplain did all he could, giving him the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick and the apostolic pardon; where his dad, brother, two sisters and brother-in-law surrounded him, with his mom and two sisters present by phone, as Francis, Jumoke, Toju, Tetse, Dede, Misan and Mene did all they could, praying and whispering in turn into his ear their love for him, their gratitude for his life, and their tearful goodbyes.
- Unconscious, Begho couldn’t reply, but his valedictory in body language resonated what St. Paul wrote in his farewell to St. Timothy, “The time of my departure is near. I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.” It would have expressed his hope that “from now on the crown of righteousness awaits me, which the Lord, the just judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me, but to all who have longed for his appearance” (2 Tim 4:6-8). He had indeed competed well, as we heard in today’s second reading, and through pursuing righteousness, devotion, faith, love, patience, gentleness and other virtues, he had sought to lay hold of eternal life, the eternal life to which he was called when he made, here at St. Michael’s, six years ago at his baptism, the noble confession of faith in the presence of Father George Rutler, Mene, friends and witnesses. We pray that early in the morning on Monday, May 8, as his earthly family was repeatedly reminding him of their affection, he heard a voice from heaven say the words we pondered in today’s first reading, “Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord. Let them find rest from their labors, for their works accompany them.” Jesus said in today’s Gospel that dying in him leads to life: “Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.” Dying in the Lord is not sterile but fertile. Pope Benedict, in his 2006 encyclical God is Love, said that these words about the fruitful death of the grain of wheat express “the essence of love and indeed of human life itself” (DCE 6). Life, Pope Benedict stated, is a “journey, an ongoing exodus out of the closed inward-looking self towards its liberation through self-giving, and thus towards authentic self-discovery and indeed the discovery of God.” This is the exodus, the pilgrimage, that describes Begho’s life, as he, with the help of God, with the help of so many friends, discovered who he really was, discovered what was truly important, and indeed discovered who God is, how much God loved him, wanted to enter into deep friendship with him, and through him wanted to love and befriend others.
- Jesus says that when a grain of wheat falls and dies, it’s then that it’s able to bear fruit. It germinates, emerges from the soil, produces two leaves, starts to tiller and joint, sends out its flag leaf, then its boot, then its head and flower as it reaches full maturity. At a spiritual level, this process of dying and bearing much fruit began here for Begho six years ago on the day of his Baptism, when through that Sacrament Begho entered into Christ’s death and resurrection. As Catholics hear every Easter Vigil from St. Paul, when we’re baptized into Christ Jesus we’re baptized into his death, so that buried with him through baptism into death, we can be united with him in his resurrection and live in newness of life (Rom 6:3-6). Baptism is a death to sin, a death to an old way of life, and a rising with Christ to new life — a reality Begho embraced with great joy. The day of Begho’s Baptism is very much remembered in today’s Catholic funeral rite. We begin Mass by sprinkling his mortal remains with holy water, a reminder of the first day of our Christian life, what Pope Francis calls the most important day of our life no matter how long we live. We prayed, “In the waters of baptism, Begho died with Christ and rose with him to new life. May he now share with him eternal glory.” His casket is covered with a white pall, evocative of the white baptismal garment the newly baptized don, an outward sign of his Christian dignity, of the wedding garment that Jesus in a parable (Mt 22:1-14) says we must wear unstained for the eternal nuptial banquet. His body now rests in front of the Easter Candle, the sign of the triumph of Christ over Satan, life over death, light over darkness. From this Paschal Candle, Begho’s baptismal candle was lit, as Father Rutler instructed him to keep it burning brightly and to walk always as a child of the light, so that, persevering in the faith, he might indeed “run to meet the Lord when he comes with all the saints in his heavenly kingdom.” Like one of the wise bridesmaids in another parable of Jesus (Mt 25:1-13), Begho kept the lamp of faith burning within for the coming of the Lord, and we pray that he was indeed accompanied by the saints as he laced up his sneakers on Sunday for the last time.
- Begho was born on October 10, 1995, one day after the conclusion of St. John Paul II’s apostolic pilgrimage to the United States in which the saintly pontiff became the first Pope ever to visit Begho’s native New Jersey. Five days before Begho was born, after John Paul spoke to the General Assembly of the United Nations as a witness to hope, he celebrated Mass at Giants Stadium for the Catholics of New Jersey about the specifically Christian hope for Christ’s coming . He began his homily focusing on the words Jesus taught us to pray, “Thy kingdom come!,” and finished by saying, “Christ pointed the Church and the whole human family toward the future when he rolled away the stone from the entrance to the tomb and unveiled the mystery of new life. In his Resurrection, the Lord revealed the new creation, the promise of new heavens and a new earth. As Christians, we live by faith and in hope. We wait for the return of the Lord as the judge of the living and the dead. We await his return in glory, the coming of God’s Kingdom in its fullness. That is the constant invitation of the Psalms: ‘Wait for the Lord with courage; be stouthearted and wait for the Lord’ (Ps. 27:14). Our confidence in the future that God has opened before us,” he said, enables us to “see this earthly life in its proper light” so that we avoid making an idol of temporal realities or even earthly life. One of the consequences of that eschatological vision, the Pope said, is a real desire to transform temporal realities. He said, “The Christian life is a dynamic reality: the seed of faith sown in our hearts through Baptism must ripen and mature into a rich harvest of union with God and good works in the service of others.” We rejoice that that seed did ripen and mature in Begho, which we saw in the harvest of his friendship with God and many made in God’s image and likeness; which we witnessed in the many good works done for others, like his participation with Michael Russo in the beautiful apostolate of Athens PBJ building friendships and community with the homeless in Georgia or the heavy lifting he did around this parish refurbishing and decorating the Church and convent; which we beheld in the way he sought to bring his faith into his career in film.
- Everyone who met Begho immediately recognized his infectious amiability, but over time, they saw that his capacity for friendship was far from superficial. He had a great desire to stay in touch with people, telephoning, texting, sharing songs uniquely with individuals who would appreciate it, initiating rather than waiting for someone else to make the first move to deepen the bond. Last night one of his friends told me how welcome Begho would make his 15-year-old nephew whenever his nephew came to New York City, taking such a huge interest in him that he loved to return. Another friend marveled at how, after having a met a friend of Mene’s once, he opened his place in Austin for him to crash until he could find a place on his own and the two developed a lasting bond. As the online remembrances show, he kept friendships throughout his life, with his siblings, with kids from school growing up, with people in several different cities where he worked and studied, with Catholic friends here and in LA. The fact that as of this morning, 510 people were moved to contribute with great generosity to his funeral expenses online is a tribute to the breadth and depth of his friendships. We thank the Lord for his friendship with Begho and we thank the Lord for Begho’s friendships with us. And we ask for the grace to seek to become friends of God and others like we saw in the friend we entrust to the Lord today.
- We also see how the seed of faith ripened and matured in Begho’s work. He had always loved film, for years watching a movie each night, with a perceptive, analytical and artistic eye such that he picked up various nuances and details not just about plots and character development but also about directors, cinematography and more. He so impressed his friend Darian Lenzetta that she was able to arrange an interview for him with Creative Artists Agency (CAA), the premier talent agency in Hollywood. This self-taught film lover crushed the interview and landed, precociously, what most would consider a dream job. What excited him most about the opportunity was to try to be salt, light and leaven as a crypto Catholic in the movie industry. In his interview to become a member of the Leonine Forum in Los Angeles, a program for Catholic young adults to learn Catholic social teaching and be helped to bring it to their careers and all aspects of their life, Begho said that he wanted to become a fellow of the Forum not only to find faithful Catholics to whom he could go with questions and with whom he could form bonds so that they could lean on each other, but also, he said, to “learn to apply my faith” within “an industry that adds to American culture.” That’s what led him ultimately to leave Los Angeles and return to New York, seeking to do more than be an agent for those in the movie industry, but to help make movies in a new production company, Fat City with founders Sara Murphy and Ryan Zacarias, and produce art that could touch and strengthen the soul. While he was not able to fulfill that dream, in the process he became for all who knew him a protagonist in a drama that did indeed touch and strengthen many souls. And the storyline that he wrote with every choice he made had a clear and unmistakable moral. As one of his friends and former employers told me, he was a normal guy who figured out the most important thing of all, that the truth that every restless heart seeks had a name, and when he discovered him, with the help of Mene and especially Mene’s community of friends here in New York, he took that gift seriously and converted. Many people, his friend told me, live much longer and never figure that out. It’s something far more important than celebrity, money, health or a long-life. Begho discovered the most important thing in life, the pearl of great price, the treasure buried in the field, and was willing to reorder his entire life to seize that gift and never let it go. And, the friend finished, people are coming from all over country to the place where Begho embraced that treasure to pray for him, to thank God for him, and to ask God for the grace that, as we continue to journey to the finish line of our life, we may see Begho on the other side and continue our friendship with him in the Lord.
- Today in the Catholic Church’s liturgical calendar is the Memorial of Our Lady of Fatima, on which we remember the appearances of the Blessed Virgin Mary to three shepherd children in Fatima, Portugal, 106 years ago. One of the three children, Lucia dos Santos, ten at the time of the apparations, ended up living to 97 years old. But the other two, Francisco and Jacinta Marto, 9 and 7 respectively when the appearances began, Mary said would die soon, and they did, at the ages of 10 and 9. When Saint John Paul II went to Fatima 23 years ago today to beatify them, he said that it doesn’t take long to be holy, but just total dependence on the Lord and, like Mary, learning how to allow one’s whole life to develop according to God’s words and will. Begho, even though he lived a short life, had discovered how to do that. He learned how to follow Christ as the grain of wheat, to spend his life in love and friendship, to live in the Lord and die in the Lord so as to live forever.
- When he became a Catholic six years ago, he took for his confirmation the name Michael, in confident entrustment to this great Archangel, out of gratitude for this parish, as well as in homage for his deceased cousin Toby who had written a poem to Saint Michael that very much had moved him. The name Michael, in Hebrew, means, “He who is like God,” and we pray that Begho, who sought to emulate Christ in life, may now become like him through seeing him as he is. We pray that as runner 11,581 crossed the finish line of his 10,073 days of earthly life early Monday morning, that the Prince of the Heavenly Host who had defended him in life, was there to welcome him, and bring him to the Holy City, the new and eternal Jerusalem. We pray that there he has entered into even deeper friendship with God, with St. Michael, Our Lady of Fatima, and Saints Francisco and Jacinta, and with them that he will never cease praying for us, that we may live in such a way that, by God’s mercy and Providence, we will all fight the good fight, finish the face, live, keep and share the faith, lay hold of eternal life to which we have been called, and one day, with Begho, be numbered with him in the Book of Life. This is our faith. This is the faith of the Church. How proud we are, like Begho, to profess it, in Christ Jesus, our Lord. Amen!
These were the words of remembrance pronounced by his brother, Mene Ukueberuwa, toward the conclusion of the funeral Mass, which I print here with permission.
On behalf of my family, I want to thank everyone, from the bottom of my heart, for joining us to mourn our beloved brother, cousin and son, Begho. At my family’s back, I see my brother’s closest friends from here in New York, others who crossed the country, and some the world. I’m aware of the presence of more joining us by video, and I’m lifted by the prayers of countless others joining us in spirit. Thank you for being with us today.
I can say two things with certainty. The first is that what I see in front of me, my brother Begho’s body, is the most tragic sight I’ve ever seen. The second is that what I see behind him is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. That is, my family, Begho’s friends, and also friends of my family, old and new. If Begho could speak to us, he would tell me to cheer up about the first part of my statement. But he’d agree with the second part, with his entire mighty heart.
He was a family man, in a way few people of his young age can say. The youngest of six siblings, he was often the first to reach out to check in with all of us, and he logged the most miles to see everyone when we were far apart. When he saw and talked to us, he always brought his youngest-child energy. He was the funniest, the cheekiest, the most expressive. Like all families, mine desperately needs a dose of that energy.
He was also a friends’ man, in a way even fewer can say. Begho was simply the greatest friend, to the most people, of anyone I’ve ever known. And I know he’d want to be remembered that way too. Friends helped to lead Begho into the church in this exact place six years ago. Now friends are joining my family to send him on his way to the Lord.
It’s easy to give friendship short shrift when measuring up a man. Christians shouldn’t do that, and can’t, because the example of Jesus’s life suggests the opposite. Our God, who needed nothing from anyone, took the time to make friends in this world. He did that for what he could bring to them, not the other way around.
I believe that Begho emulated Christ in his friendships. He had the yearslong bonds with unbreakable groups, from school and from the church. He also had the chance encounters, almost impossible ones, that grew into life-changing relationships. I’m talking about people who he met in towns he lived in briefly, where he arrived knowing almost no one. To his old and new friends, and I’m talking about you all, he brought the righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness from the reading my sister delivered earlier.
Jesus also said the greatest love is to lay down one’s life for friends. Begho did not lay his life down, but I believe he poured it out for all of you. In his life, that meant frequent sacrifice for others’ sake. In the race that led to his death, I believe he pushed further than he had to, through the heat and the pain, for the sake of the good health and the pride he hoped to achieve. For the sake of the future races he would run with friends. And to prove himself to be a persevering man, better able to share himself with others.
There’s no doubt that he succeeded in his greatest ambition, which was to share the life of God with everyone he knew. Those of us who knew him have to carry on that spirit. Begho, we love you more than anything. Rest well in the peace of God, assured of your success, until we all meet again.
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