Fr. Roger J. Landry
St. Catherine of Siena Parish, Greenwich, CT
Nuptial Mass of Ryan Connor Von Uffel and Emily Katherine Kuchta
June 5, 2021
Gen 1:26-28.31, Ps 33, Col 3:12-17, Mt 5:13-16
To listen to an audio recording of today’s homily, please click below:
The following text guided today’s homily:
The beautiful marriage we are celebrating today between Ryan and Emily has a long prehistory. I’m not just talking about the 715-day pandemic-induced wait from Ryan’s well-planned June 22, 2019 proposal on the beach where Emily spent so many summers growing up. The prehistory extends back much further than a mini-college reunion in April 2018 in Manhattan when, as Emily told me, they “completely fell for each other” and began to spend most of their free time together. It goes back much further than when they met in August 2007 in Henniker, New Hampshire, as college freshmen and began a deep friendship that has matured through today. It goes back to the beginning of time.
As we see in the first reading Emily and Ryan chose for their wedding, from the Book of Genesis, when God created Adam, Adam had God all to himself in the garden. All of creation had been made for him to govern. He was perfectly in right relationship with God. Even though he seemed to have everything one could ask for, something — more specifically, someone — was missing. And after God had said in the first six phases of creation, “It was good,” “It was good,” “It was good,” “It was good,” “It was good,” “It was good,” and with the creation of the human person, “It was very good,” God finally thundered, “It is not good…for man to be alone.” So he created Eve, a fitting partner, a helper, symbolically out of his side, to show that they stand side-by-side, equal, before him. When Adam saw her, he exclaimed, “Finally this is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!,” a Hebrew idiom saying that they shared strengths and weaknesses. As Jesus would reiterate centuries later in the Gospel, this is the reason why a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife and they become one flesh in love.
The upshot of the Creation account is that God, who is love, has created the human person in his image and likeness … in love and for love. Since no one can love in a vacuum, God could not be solitary, there needed to be a Lover and a Beloved, and in God the eternal love between them was so strong as to take on personality. In creating the human person, therefore, as we see in the first reading, God created not just a “him, male and female” but a “them,” a communion between man and woman, whose love for each other could be so strong as to “make love,” to generate new life, as a fruit of their loving communion of persons. From the first marriage of Adam and Eve, to your marriage today, Ryan and Emily, matrimony was created by God to be a sacrament of love, to help you to grow to be more and more like God and at the same time more fully human. Today you not only receive and minister a Sacrament. Today you become a Sacrament, a visible sign, as St. John Paul II used to say, pointing to the invisible reality of the Trinitarian loving communion of persons. Therefore, this day has its beginning in “the beginning,” in God’s plan to create each of you in his image and likeness. At the end of the first reading, Genesis tells us, “God looked at everything he had made, and he found it very good.” He looks at you today, and to the vocation he has given you to marry each other as each other’s fitting helpmate, and finds it “very good.”
But Christian marriage is never just about two people, the husband and the wife. It’s not even just about the family that, with God’s help and encouragement, they raise up, putting into practice God’s sweet command to “increase and multiply,” as we heard in the first reading. Every marital vocation has a mission, as does yours, Ryan and Emily. That’s why I’m so pleased that the Gospel passage you wanted to hear and ponder on your wedding day — and have all of us reflect upon as well — was about Jesus’ words from the Sermon on the Mount in which he told us, as his disciples, “You are the Salt of the Earth,” and “You are the Light of the World.” Those rich Biblical metaphors describe various aspects of the mission of every follower of Jesus, but they are particularly fitting to describe the joint task of Christian married couples.
Salt had three purposes in the ancient world, light two.
The most well-known purpose of salt, at least today, was to give flavor, to improve the taste of what is bland. The second purpose was as a preservative. In an age without refrigeration, in a place where temperatures in the summer can regularly reach 130 degrees Fahrenheit, salt was essential for preserving fish and meat. The third purpose was as a fire starter, something that is still used in various impoverished countries today: salt is mixed with animal dung and lit on fire for cooking and heating, much like those in the developed world use wood. And so we see from this analogy that Christian marriages are meant to bring good taste and flavor, joy and vivacity to their surroundings. They’re meant to prevent the persons around them, and their culture, from corrosion and preserve the good. And they’re meant to be catalysts through whom Christ can light a fire on the earth. Saint Catherine of Siena, patroness of this Church, once said to Catholic lay people, “If you are who you should be, you will set … the whole world ablaze.”
I rejoice, Emily and Ryan, that you already have a great head start on putting Christ’s words about being salt of the earth into practice.
Everyone who knows you knows how much flavor your bring not just to each other’s life but to the lives of your family and friends. Ryan, you summed it up, when you told me during marriage preparation, “No girl has ever made me laugh more than Emily.”
Your preserve and strengthen each other to do the good. You told me, Emily, that one of the things you most love and admire about Ryan is how he makes it so much easier for you to be good and prevents you from descending into some all-too-common vices. “Ryan,” you said, “continuously shows and reminds me how much easier it is to be patient and kind than judgmental and unforgiving. As a girl with a lot of close friends, it is easy sometimes to get caught up in gossip, but Ryan has helped me realize how kind I can be and how much easier it is to be kind. I have learned through experience with Ryan to receive information than to react to information. I watch him and see how he reacts to me and others” and try to imitate that virtue.
You both me that one of the things you love about each other is how the other is a fire-starter for you. Ryan you praised Emily for being, all at the same time, a “teacher, a youth girls’ hockey coach, a babysitter, tutor, an administrator at the Yacht Club. If there is a side hustle out there that might intrigue her,” you continued, “she’s done the research and thought of doing it or trying it. She is not afraid to step out of her comfort zone and succeed to the next level.” And you told me the impact that has on you: “Since Emily and I have been together, she has always … pushed me to the next level. If I had any doubts, we would break it down and talk through it together. She pushes me always to aim higher.” Not to be outdone, Emily said of you, “Ryan is extremely hardworking and driven, which in turn makes me work hard in my career and in life each and every day.
This salt you are for each other Jesus wants you together to be for many others. To do that, he says, you must ensure that your salt “does not lose its taste.” Chemists tell us that salt loses its flavor when it becomes denatured, when the sodium is separated from the chloride. Human beings lose their sacred saltiness when become separated from God and each other. To keep your saltiness intact, you must increase your bond not just with each other but together with God. As the great servant of God, Venerable Father Patrick Peyton, and after him, Saint Teresa of Calcutta, made famous: “The family that prays together, stays together.” Pray together, Ryan and Emily, so that your salt might help flavor, preserve and spiritually ignite the earth.
Jesus also calls you to be the “light of the world.” Light, two thousand years ago and still today, has two fundamental purposes: to illuminate and to warm. As Christians we’re called to bring the light of Christ’s truth and the warmth of his love to others. Because of our communion with Christ, who called himself the “Light of the World,” we’re called to be lighthouses for others in the midst of stormy seas, as well as hearths that can rekindle those worn out by the coldness of a sometimes brutally harsh world. That’s what St. Paul was describing in the second reading you chose, when he called all Christians, but in a particular way, Christian married couples, to heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, mutual forgiveness, sacrificial love, Christ-like peace, gratitude, and joy — all of which show others the path to happiness and inspire, and encourage others to choose that path by making it believable. St. Paul describes where you will get the light you need, telling you, “Let the word of God dwell in you richly.” God’s word is a lamp for your feet and a light for your path (Ps 119:105). Let it illumine your home in all its splendor. He also tells you how that light is meant to impact everything, concluding, “Whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” The light of Christ is meant to influence every aspect of what we think, say and do.
Jesus tells you at the end of this Gospel not to hide this light. “A city set on a mountain,” he said, “cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so,” he concluded, “your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father.” Every Christian and every sacramentally married couple is meant to give the witness of this light. But sometimes rather than give this witness, some seem to enroll in a witness protection program. Christ’s light in them is hidden. And many forces in the world are striving to put the Christian faith, especially Jesus’ teaching about marriage, under a bushel basket. You’re meant to be part of Christ’s response to those trends.
Today just getting married in Church, just entering into a sacramental marriage, has become a courageous and counter-cultural act. So many are afraid of making a commitment — especially a commitment that is for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health, all the days of one’s life. Seeing scores of relationships break down, many people young and old prefer to keep their options open. They refuse to entrust their future to another. They seek to receive some of the comfort and benefits that come from relationships that in many outward ways resemble marriage but without giving themselves totally to what God desires and true love entails. Others are confused about what marriage is, with some thinking it’s just romantic symbolism, or a piece of paper, or a temporary union for as long as two shall love, or a husband-less or wife-less reality whose meaning can be defined or redefined by the parties themselves, or the popular culture, or the courts.
Today, Ryan and Emily, in contrast to the spirit of the age, you are responding to Christ’s call to be the Salt of the Earth and the Light of the World. You are making a conspicuous profession about marriage and the family, their nature and importance. You are publicly proclaiming that you’re entering not into a contract but a covenant, a sacred commitment not just to each other but to God, consecrating your love in a special way within the love of the God who created you, brought you together, and who today is making a sacred commitment in return, to accompany you for as long as you live. You’re overtly declaring that you desire not just to make the other happy, but to be God’s instrument to help make the other holy. You’re avowing that the gift you ultimately want to give each other is not just a beautiful ring, or the exchange of name, or even the gift of yourself, however faithful, fruitful, free and total; you’re openly affirming that you are seeking to give God to each other, to help the other grow in God’s image and likeness, to assist the other to build your life together on the indestructible foundation of faith in Jesus Christ. Our world today needs this salt and light. It needs to believe in love, not as the world defines it, but as God has made it, in his image. It needs to believe in marriage, in lifetime commitment, in fidelity, in mutual sacrifice, and in the blessing of children. It needs to believe ultimately in God, and to come to faith, it needs the witness not just of devout priests, religious and missionaries, but most of all Christian spouses and families who show them the difference God makes in daily life. This is what it means to be salt and light. This is the vocation to which God is calling you.
But God never gives us a vocation or a mission without providing the help he knows we’ll need to fulfill it. And the greatest help he gives is himself. There’s great significance to the fact that Catholic couples are married in the context of a Mass. The early Christians used to illustrate the reality between marriage and the Mass in their architecture, covering the altars, like at St. Peter’s in the Vatican, with a canopy just like ancient beds were covered, to communicate that the altar is the marriage bed of the union between Christ the Bridegroom and his Bride, the Church. Catholics believe that it’s here on the altar that we, the Bride of Christ, in the supreme act of love, receive within ourselves, the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus, the divine Bridegroom, becoming one-flesh with him and being made capable of bearing fruit with him in acts of love. This is the means by which Christ will regularly strengthen you, Emily and Ryan, to be salt and light. This is the way by which you will receive within Christ’s love for you and be able to love each other as he has loved you first, saying ultimately, in a Eucharist echo, “This is my body, given for you.” This is where Christ will help you to put on, as God’s chosen ones, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, and all of the other virtues St. Paul describes, so that whatever you do, in word or in deed, you will do not just in Jesus’ name, but in holy communion with him. This is where Christ will ignite you, so that through you he may set the world ablaze.
Today around this marriage bed of Christ’s union with the Church and with you, Ryan and Emily, your family, your friends, all the saints and angels join me in praying that the Lord — who had this day in mind before the foundation of the world, who has begun this good work in you and brought you here to this altar — will nourish your sacred vocation and bring it to completion in the eternal nuptial feast of heaven. We ask him never to stop blessing you with his holy, spousal love and, through the way that you live this holy sacrament from this day forward, never to stop blessing us all. Amen!
The readings for today’s Mass were:
A reading from the Book of Genesis
God said: “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. Let him have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and the cattle, and over all the wild animals and all the creatures that crawl on the ground.” God created man in his image; in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them, saying to them: “Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that move on the earth.” God looked at everything he had made, and he found it very good.
RESPONSORIAL PSALM — The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.
Blessed the nation whose God is the Lord,
the people he has chosen as his heritage.
Yes, the Lord’s eyes are upon those who fear him,
who hope in his merciful love.
Our soul is waiting for the Lord,
He is our help and our shield,
in him do our hearts find joy.
We trust in his holy name.
May your merciful love be upon us, O Lord.
as we place our hope in you,
A reading from the Letter of Saint Paul to the Colossians
Brothers and Sisters: Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Matthew
Jesus said to his disciples: “You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its taste, with what can it be seasoned? It is no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father.
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