Getting Married in a Narthex, Nuptial Mass of Philip DeVoe and JoAnna Kroeker, August 1, 2020

Fr. Roger J. Landry
Holy Spirit Catholic Church, Fresno, CA
Nuptial Mass for Philip DeVoe and JoAnna Kroeker
August 1, 2020
Song of Songs 2:8-10.14.16, Ps 34, Rom 12:1-2.9-18, Jn 2:1-11

To listen to an audio recording of today’s homily, please click below: 

To watch the marriage ceremony, held in the narthex of the Church because of restrictions imposed by the Governor of California preventing any religious gatherings inside Churches, please click below. 

The following text guided today’s homily: 

In ancient Christian basilicas, much would happen in the narthex. The narthex serves architecturally as the bridge between the world and the sanctuary; it’s not really outside the Church but it’s not fully inside, either. The baptismal font was often placed here, since baptism is the sacramental entrance into the Church as Christ’s mystical body. It was here that those preparing for baptism would attend Mass, as their hunger for the Word of God and for the Word made flesh grew. It was here that those who were doing penance for serious sins would assist at Mass as they awaited restoration to full communion through the Sacrament of Penance. It was here that the Church often placed statues of famous Christian leaders, like Constantine, or Charlemagne, or the famous kings of Catholic countries with special bonds to the Church, in order to symbolize the Church’s idea of the relationship between Church and State: the statues of civil leaders were not inside the Church, which would imply a theocracy; the statues were not outside in the piazzas, which might symbolize a total separation between Church and State; they were placed in the narthex to manifest the harmony that should exist between Church and State in caring for the spiritual and temporal needs of the people both have the responsibility to serve.

Throughout the centuries, Christian marriages have not taken place in a narthex but in the sanctuary proper. There is, however, great symbolism to the fact that, because of coronavirus restrictions, your marriage today, Phil and Jo, is taking place here. Many early saints compared Christian marriage to the baptism of a couple and just like God through baptism comes to dwell within us as his temple, so through holy matrimony he will come to dwell within your relationship in a one-flesh domestic Church. Whereas the order of penitents used to dwell here beseeching God’s mercy, so you both are here asking for God’s help so that you may love each other as God has loved you, conscious that God’s love is always merciful and you will need to forgive each other 70 times 7 times. And similar to how the statues of Christian leaders were symbolically placed here to show how the spiritual and civil domains are meant harmoniously to interrelate, so your marriage here today reveals something important about how your bond is meant to lead you both to God in his sanctuary as well as hand-in-hand out into the world, without being of the world, as witnesses.

In the essays you wrote as part of marriage preparation, Phil, you spoke about how the sacramental vows of marriage have an “earthly element and a heavenly element.” The earthly element, you said, “comes in the gift of self we give” to each other, to children, to friends and family, as your sacrificial love overflows as salt, light and leaven for the world. “The heavenly element,” you added, “is much more demanding and powerful: we must help each other live a Christian life and get the other to heaven. By expecting that we will be accountable to one another in this quest for heaven, our marriage will be a powerful engine for our dual salvation, which will in turn light a fire for our children and help them [and others] understand what a good life looks like as well.” Your getting married in this narthex, Jo and Phil, is a confirmation of that dual vocation and dual mission. It’s from here, as you receive a sacrament, that you in turn become a sacrament for the world outside, revealing to others the image of God as a loving communion of persons — “male and female he created them” — and giving others a glimpse of the bond between Christ and his Bride the Church. It’s also from here that you seek to enter into God’s sanctuary, not just this particular house of God on earth, but into the celestial Jerusalem for a wedding banquet that will know no end.

Today you are already giving an inspirational witness to how committed you are to this mutual calling and commission. In a few minutes, you will say to each other words you’ve waited your whole life to enunciate, that you take each other to be your spouse and promise to be faithful in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, and promise to love and honor each other all the days of your life. Many times couples make those vows looking ahead with rosy eyes to the future, praying that they will have far more happy times than sad and much more wellness than illness. But you’re making them in the midst of a pandemic, during the most serious global malady the world has seen in 100 years, which has brought worse and sicker times for millions, including for engaged couples, whose plans for their weddings have been dramatically altered. While many couples have reluctantly decided to postpone their marriages, you haven’t, even though it has meant a change in venue, a reduction in the number of those able to attend, and plan Bs for your reception and your honeymoon. By your choice to get married today in the midst of worldwide sickness and worse times, however, you are giving powerful testimony to those on both sides of the narthex that what you’re about to say to each other about “in sickness and health, for good times and bad,” you really mean. You are dramatically putting into practice your marriage vows from the first day of your spousal coexistence.

What you together are doing today is an important prophetic witness, because, even before the coronavirus, entering into a sacramental marriage has become a courageous and counter-cultural act. So many are afraid of making a commitment — especially a commitment that is for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health, all the days of one’s life. Seeing scores of relationships break down, many people young and old prefer to keep their options open. They refuse to entrust their future to another. They seek to receive some of the comfort and benefits that come from relationships that in many outward ways resemble marriage but without giving themselves totally to what God desires and true love entails. Others are confused about what marriage is, with some thinking it’s just romantic symbolism, or a piece of paper, or a temporary union for as long as two shall love, or a husband-less or wife-less reality whose meaning can be defined or redefined by the parties themselves, or the popular culture, or the courts. Today, Phil and Jo, in contrast to the spirit of the age, you are making a public profession about marriage, its nature and importance. You are publicly proclaiming that you’re entering not into a contract but a covenant, a sacred commitment not just to each other but to God, consecrating your love in a special way within the love of the God who created you, brought you together, and who today is making a sacred commitment to you, to accompany you in good times and bad, in poverty and prosperity, in fitness and frailty for as long as you live. You’re openly declaring that you desire not just to make the other happy, but to be God’s instrument to help make the other holy. You’re avowing that the gift you ultimately want to give each other is not just a beautiful ring, or the exchange of last name, or even the gift of yourself, however faithful, fruitful, free and total; you’re overtly affirming that you are seeking to give God to each other, to help the other grow in God’s image and likeness, to assist the other with you to build your life on the indestructible foundation of faith in Jesus Christ.

You manifest this commitment by the Gospel you chose for your Nuptial Mass, the scene of the Wedding Feast of Cana. The Church has always looked at the great miracle Jesus worked there as more than a wedding gift to couple who had run out of wine for their eight-day wedding reception, converting 180 gallons of water into precious wine, the equivalent of 912 750-ml bottles! The Church has looked at it as something greater than merely the first of a long line of incredible miracles by Jesus on account of which people began to believe in him. The Church has understood its deeper significance as Jesus’ elevating the “water” of the natural love between a man and a woman — the primordial “sacrament” or sign of the divine image in the union of Adam and Eve in the beginning — into the “wine” of his divine love and life. Saint Francis de Sales, in his spiritual classic Introduction to the Devout Life, challenged young Christian spouses to seek to relive in their married life each day the mystery of the Wedding Feast of Cana. He noted that many marriages struggle and some fail because, rather than inviting Jesus, Mary and the saints into their marriage, many couples invite rather Adonis and Venus, the pagan gods of eros, or open the door to the golden calf, or import the mentalities and ways of the world. Saint Francis de Sales urged couples instead to invite Jesus into the whole of their life, into their home, their prayer together, their labors, their joys and sorrows, their disagreements and reconciliations. Jesus, Francis said, is always ready, eager and desirous to receive the invitation to remain in the couple’s life full-time, 24/7, for as long as they both shall live. Today Jesus hopes that each of you, Phil and Jo, will invite him into your home each day and to show other couples how to do so, so that they, too, may learn how he desires to change the water of their natural love into something far more precious and lasting. And just like Mary interceded for that young couple with Jesus before they even knew that they had a problem, so she is praying for you to her Son, that you, like the zealous servants in the Gospel scene, might do whatever Jesus tells you, as he seeks to transform all of the moments of your married life into occasions of holiness and fill your married life, like those six big water jars, to the brim.

I could not help but notice when I entered this narthex last night the enormous and beautiful statue of Saint John Paul II. I don’t think it’s coincidental that your marriage is taking place in the year the Church marks the 100^th anniversary of his birth. In his Letter to Families, St. John Paul wrote that more than anything else he desired to say to every married couple and family, “The Bridegroom is with you!” The Bridegroom is with you, just like he was with that couple in Cana, and will be with you always until the end of time. John Paul wrote, “This is how the Bridegroom is with you! … He is the Good Shepherd. You know who he is, and you know his voice. You know where he is leading you, and how he strives to give you pastures where you can find life and find it in abundance. You know how he withstands the marauding wolves, and is ever ready to rescue his sheep: every husband and wife, every son and daughter, every member of your families. You know that he, as the Good Shepherd, is prepared to lay down his own life for his flock (cf. Jn 10:11). He leads you by paths that are not the steep and treacherous paths of many of today’s ideologies, and he repeats to today’s world the fullness of truth.”

St. John Paul II spent his priestly life and lengthy papacy reminding married couples of how important marriage and family are in God’s plans. What happens in a marriage is not just a love story between a man and a woman. It’s even more deeply a love story that happens between God and the human race. And it’s a crucial part of the Redemption. Just as sin entered the world through the family of Adam and Eve, so the Redemption happened by means of a family, the Holy Family. The loving and trusting obedience of Mary and Joseph reversed the distrusting disobedience of Eve and Adam. The Redeemer entered the world not at 30 years old but the same way each of us did, as the tiniest child in a way so that, in redeeming the family, he might redeem the whole human race. And that’s what he does through the Sacrament of Matrimony. The salvation of the human race depends on couples’ living out their matrimonial covenant with God and each other. “The future of humanity,” John Paul II insisted, “passes by way of the family” and “the history of mankind, the history of salvation, passes by way of the family.” He emphasized that the family is “at the center of the great struggle between good and evil, between life and death, between love and all that is opposed to love. To the family is entrusted the task of striving, first and foremost, to unleash the forces of good, the source of which is found in Christ the Redeemer of man. Every family unit needs to make these forces their own so that … the family will be ‘strong with the strength of God.’” Your vocation to marriage, Jo and Phil, is part of God’s response to that great struggle between light and darkness.

But we have to ask: How does a family, how will your family, become strong with the strength of God? In the second reading you chose from St. Paul’s Letter to the Romans, we learn how couples are fortified with the invigorating power of Christ-like love. The apostle urges you, “Let love be sincere; hate what is evil, hold on to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; anticipate one another in showing honor.” He tells you to be zealous in serving the Lord, to persevere in prayer, to be generous in caring for others’ needs, to exercise hospitality, and to the extent possible to live at peace with all.

I am very happy that these virtues are already a part of your relationship. You told me, Jo, that among the characteristics you love about Phil is he is “confident, protective, loyal and reserved,” that just as he sets goals for himself, “he has shown himself to care equally about setting goals with me for my development, and is sensitive to dreams I have. He always has an ear to lend and sympathy and advice to give. Whenever I have a crisis, he drops everything to help me. He pushes me to make good arguments when we talk about hard topics. He encourages me to be positive, confident and courageous, helping me to break out of anxieties I have. He helps me be stronger, more emotionally intelligent and resilient.” Phil, you were equally effusive about the sincerity of Jo’s love. “I love,” you told me, “Joanna’s eagerness to walk with me out of sin and the way she cares about my physical, mental, and spiritual development. She’s profoundly good. She’s open. She’s passionate. She’s terrific with support.” You recounted that when you were offered a job at National Review and were nervous not just about the cost of living in New York but on the sacrifice that might entail for her, she immediately responded, “Of course you’ll take it!,” not caring that it would be harder for her because she prioritized that it would be better for you. She’s doing the same as you move to Washington, DC, as you enter law school. Jo, you described why you willingly do this by telling me that that’s what marriage means. It means “dying to yourself and taking on a new identity. Taking on a new name, moving to a new city, supporting him through law school, his supporting me in my goals, our lives changing when we have children, [in all of this] we will be dying to our (selfish) desires and subordinating them to the needs of the other. The great beauty in this death to self is the life-giving love that results.” You commented, Phil, that by Jo’s becoming such a living commentary on the St. Paul’s words today, “She shows me how to live a Christian life, and makes it easy to walk in her path.” That’s the way you mutually help each other to become strong in the strength that comes from God.

The greatest way God strengthens you with his own divine love is through prayer and the sacraments. It’s so beautiful that soon after you met in a Hillsdale College physics class, worked together on the Hillsdale Collegian and eventually began to see each other, your second date was Mass. “I feel closest to Jo,” you told me, Phil, “when I am praying with her, and I love going to church with her. Mass without her feels strange to me.” You added, “Through marriage, I am uniting with Jo, but together we are uniting with God in a three-way unbreakable covenant, [in which] God pours down on us the grace that gives a sacrament its purpose, and I feel that grace every Sunday at Mass.” You renew your vows to God, and he renews his to you, at every Mass. It’s to this three-way unbreakable communion of the Mass that you say to each other the words of the first reading from the Song of Songs, “Arise, my friend, my beautiful one, and come!” It’s in this communion where you are able to say, in God, “My lover belongs to me and I to him,” not in the sense of ownership but mutual consecration to God and each other. It’s to this sacred synaxis that the marriage proposal made last September on a pier overlooking the Hudson River is oriented, not just on the day on which your marriage begins but on each of the days of your spousal co-existence.

There’s great meaning to the fact that over the altar in so many of the most historic Churches in Christianity, there’s an exquisite baldachin. The early Christians used to illustrate the reality between marriage and the Mass in their architecture, covering the altars with a canopy just like ancient beds were covered, to communicate that the altar is the marriage bed of the union between Christ the Bridegroom and his Bride, the Church. Catholics believe that it’s here on this altar that we, the Bride of Christ, in the supreme act of love, receive within ourselves, the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus, the divine Bridegroom, becoming one-flesh with him and being made capable of bearing fruit with him in acts of love. This is the means by which Christ will regularly strengthen you, Phil and Jo, with the strength of God. This is the way by which you will receive within Christ’s love for you and become more capable of sharing that love with each other. This is the channel Jesus provides to make your marriage a truly holy family.

Today around this marriage bed of Christ’s union with the Church and with you, in this narthex that symbolizes your mission in the Church and to the world, your family, your friends, and all the angels and saints join me in praying that the Lord who has begun this good work in you and brought you here to this altar will nourish your sacred vocation and bring it to completion in the eternal nuptial feast of heaven. Today we ask the Divine Bridegroom, here with us like with that couple in Cana, to upgrade your love like he changed water into wine and here will change bread into his body and wine into his blood. We pray that he will never stop blessing you with his holy, spousal love and, through the way that you live out this holy sacrament, never to stop blessing us all.

The readings for today’s Mass were: 

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